"Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.”How do I get to my safe place? Today was a day I indeed do not want repeated. I want to scream at the top of my lungs “why do I see what you cannot!!!”
The system is so aggravating, unleveled to say the least, but overall there to protect the wrong people. It seems now that I know what I know about my parents everything takes on a new light. I am so angry that they are not sharing this burden with me. It is hard b/c I have to be careful when riding the fine line of resentment. It can put me in an ugly place.
I still am struggling to get back in step with the Lord. I find that when I feel the most vulnerable is when I pull up anchor, and close up inside from everyone. That is my safe place. Is it really safe? No, b/c it alienates me from everyone including my Lord and Savior. The difference is I know that now, but it doesn’t make it easier!
I don’t know what is going to happen in the coming months, but I hope and pray I let go of these reigns b/c they are dragging me down, but I can’t seem to let go. I want all the answers, but I know that is so unrealistic.
Today my baby boy turned 14. I can’t even believe it. I feel very blessed with my children, and I got 2 phone calls today that were beyond frustrating. I just don’t get it. Letting go…why is it so hard?
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