Would you do it again?

Given the opportunity to do anything over again, knowing what you know now, would you make the same choice? There is a reason why we don’t know the future or end results of something until it is done. Some are lessons learned, and some given the opportunity to change our minds would affect so many in a domino effect. Our choices have an end result, whether it is positive or negative. We hold the power sometimes to either roll up our sleeves and feel a little discomfort, or we can stay in our comfort zone b/c change and sacrifice are “too hard.”

My grandma never would accept that excuse, and bless her heart she passed that little piece of knowledge onto me. If everything were easy where is the payoff in that? Easy is not always right, the hard way is not always right; so than how do we know what we are called to do? We tend to complicate the uncomplicated. Why is that? We justify our actions and decisions based on emotions or what “you” did to me or what “he/she” did to me. How many are tossed to the waste side b/c we don’t feel like diving in?

Is your family really that important? Do they know they are? Is God first, and if He is than do you follow His commands when it comes to being there for each brother and sister? Or are you too busy with “life?” Too busy trying to obtain those material things that at the end don’t matter anyway? Will you stand in front of our Lord and Savior and offer him your expensive home? Our fancy cars? Or our expansive lawns, perfectly manicured with that picket fence, and 2.5 dogs? Basketball games, baseball games, lessons of every kind and everything else we cram into our lives?

Am I being sarcastic, yes and no. These are real questions and thoughts to ponder. Do we want to? No, most will read some of this and walk away believing I am insane or on a soap box, well yes I am, and yes I am to both! We always will give it thought, and say you know what “I really do need to cut some of this out”, but we don’t. It is forgotten as quickly as it is thought about. How sad is that? Are we really that important? Do we really believe all this “stuff” will get us where we truly need to be?

The reason for my rant. Multiple reasons. Today I had to go listen to the results of Aneesa’s psychological evaluation, one of the many tests that has been done on her. As I sat there and listened to the doctor (of 20years experience) tell me that Aneesa's IQ is below average, that she is functioning at a 4yr old level, and that the child lives every day in constant fear because of what she has been through, and that because of the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (statistical average) her mentality will only reach 7-9yrs old. Even when she is 45! Do you have any idea how much my heart sank? That little girl has been robbed! Why? Choices. There is a 99.9% chance Trevon will be the same coupled with the effects of the autism.

Back to my original question, would I take these kids if I knew than what I know now? As I drove home so many things were running through my head, and that was a big question for me. What if Tre would have been a great football player, but can’t go anywhere with it b/c he will struggle to just understand daily life skills? What possibilities have been taken away from Aneesa? Where is the fairness in this? There are no platitudes that make this better, but what I did realize is God put our family in these children’s lives for a reason. I stand firm on His hope that given the love, stability, and nurturing these kids have a better chance to live “normal lives”. I also told myself to stop complaining about the discomfort of all the changes, and turn that complaining into rejoicing at the opportunity that lies before me in nuturing these kids through faith and love. ( i know "me not complain?" the earth may stop on its axis!!)

I embrace the hope that I have in God that through Him all things are possible. Again I don’t know what the future holds, but does that matter? No, these kids did NOTHING wrong. There is NO excuse that I am willing to listen to of why more people don’t get out there and help. Picture your child living in fear everyday with NOONE to turn to. Is the road going to be rough, definitely, but I have a great husband who has been my biggest supporter standing behind me ready and willing to fight this fight together. I have watched Andrew’s heart and mind change in the last year, and I can’t tell you how lucky I am that his mission is now the same as mine. Finally we are a team, and we can take our experience, strength and hope out to the battlefield and try to touch lives. Bring others and small children to Christ. Isn’t that what we are supposed to be doing in our lives anyhow?

Now as you go back to your life, as i know you will, my words will fade...just as most words do, but the truth remains the same. Live with that.

Ecclesiastes 4:11-13 (New International Version)
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.