Thank you!

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow. Melodie Beattie

As I think about tomorrow and what it means to each of us; it gives me a moment to reflect.
I have been very blessed in my life to have people put in my life over the course of my 33 years. God strategically placed those (even if for a season) there for a reason. Family is so important, but I have learned it does not have to be by blood that you call someone your family. It was a tough lesson to learn, but I get some of the reasons why it is so.

We take for granted the love, security that some of us get with those people we call family. As I prayed with my niece tonight I recited the prayer I used to always say when I was a child. As I went through the list that I use to pray for (mom, dad, g-parents etc) I realized, sadly, that she really doesn’t have any of those things. She has never had grandparents, ever…that is so unbelievably sad when I know how important my grandmother was to me. She really doesn’t have any aunts, uncles, or cousins that she knows and or sees at any point and time.

I have to say that broke my heart. All a child ever wants is to be loved. I am determined for my kids, and my niece and nephew to know that they are loved and safe as long as I breathe.

Love those around you, reach out to someone who doesn’t have the great fortune that you do, and don’t take for granted that there will always be a tomorrow to tell them you love them.

Psalm 116:6-7The Lord protects those of childlike faith; I was facing death, and he saved me. Let my soul be at rest again, for the Lord has been good to me

Peace..

…So if you would know His voice, never consider results or possible effects. Obey even when He asks you to move in the dark.
…And there will spring up rapidly in your heart an acquaintanceship and a fellowship with God which will hold you and Him together, even in severest testing’s. (Way of Faith book)

Well it has been a minute since I last posted. Life is still as chaotic as ever, and has gotten more intense with my niece. I just try to make it through each day, and face the battle laid before me.

I am trying very hard to just be patient, listen to God’s small voice, and do whatever I can to love all these children. They are a blessing even in the trials, and if I can focus on that than hopefully I can make it through the most trying times!

I have had a peace in the last two weeks, and the obsessing over this whole situation has lightened. I feel very blessed to know my father knows what I can handle and what I can’t. I don’t know what is going to happen in the coming months, but I do know He is in control and loves these children as much as I do.

I read through Ephesians last night, and the apostle Paul wrote something that reached out to me…May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love...Eph. 3:17 What a great way to think of my relationship as it continues to grow with Him daily. That He is never changing, it is me who chooses to turn away and not follow the path He has laid before me. He will always open His arms to me, and provide that safety and love. What a great feeling!

My focus right now is trying to keep gratitude at the front. I have to focus on the all that has been given to us, and all that can be given if we obey His commandments. The quote from the movie Forrest Gump comes to mind…Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get! Isn’t that the truth!?

Ephesians 5:17
Don’t act thoughtlessly, but try to understand what the Lord wants you to do.

Inner struggle

Psalm 13:2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?

I finished reading the complete bible a couple of weeks ago, and I began to go back over some books that I would like to study more. As I was reading last night, and fighting my frustration and obsession I read Psalms. David really struggled back and forth, but he always trusted God to save him from his despair and to serve justice.

That is a lesson I have to keep reminding myself. I am trying so hard to do the best to keep upbeat and positive, but satan has been working overtime on my mind. I have had so many moments in the last couple of weeks of just wanting to throw my hands up, b/c every where I turn it is a new battle! It is overwhelming…

I am really questioning people’s motives and empty words. I already don’t trust many, and it reflects on how many people are close to me, but I feel like actions lately reaffirm why I don’t keep to many close. The saying “keep your friends close and your enemies’ closer” springs to mind. Than on the flip side I have to not go there. God calls me to love my neighbor as myself…UGHHH Doing what is right is never simple. It is a lot of hard work.

I know I sound like a broken record, but I am struggling something awful right now with not obsessing and trusting that all things will work out the way God has planned. I am practically pleading with God to relieve the obsession.

Psalm 13:5-6 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.