Another week gone by and so many emotions touched yet again. Fear and anxiety can paralyze me. It can trap me in an abyss of nothingness if I allow it.
Where does this come from? Well as most have read from my previous posts life is a roller coaster right now, but you know when isn’t it!? I guess right now it just feels more so.
We went to see my father in law last week, and he finally got the halo off! It was awesome to see him without that mangle of metal. It was a beautiful sight to see him with color on his face, and a smile to go with it! My kids laughed, and enjoyed time with grandpa, and that was wonderful to watch. Those are moments that are priceless, and make you realize the daily grind really is so unimportant in the grander scheme of life.
The house issue has almost in some ways drawing down to a close in the fact that we see progress in where we are “going to land” now in sight. I feel good, relieved, sad all balled up into one. I spent tonight going through a cabinet full of pictures and items from the kids from over the years. We have had to do a lot of purging this time around knowing we are downsizing considerably. I think that is good…hard, but good. I laughed, cried, and laughed some more with the kids over looking at how much my beautiful babies are no longer babies…
Looking at memories I realized we have been happy no matter where we are…that is what is important. I need to realize how so unbelievably blessed I am to have these wonderful children, and a husband who has been able to stick by me even when he shouldn’t have. I am trying to focus on knowing we are all in this together, and that is how we will make it through…with God as our guide...
Lastly as the week is drawing to a close my dear sweet daughter and her blood work. I went to get my hair cut by my lovely sister in law, and as she lovingly washed my hair (which I normally don’t want her to stop), the tears came again. I had taken Chelsey to Parkview, and the whole way to Anna’s my mind raced. Fears, dreads, what-ifs..I was making myself a nut case. I am grateful that it was Anna who was the one it happened with..(not sure if she was!). She said what I needed to hear…
Today I called the liver transplant coordinator, and to my dismay they elevated again….Fear, scared again. Chelsey’s GI doctor is out of the country, but will be back on Monday so she said they will make a decision than on what course of action to take. The may increase her dose of medication, which to most seems like nothing, but it is. The medicine that she takes is saving her life, but it is very potent. It can cause long term kidney damage, which could lead to diabetes or cancer. Anyway, please continue to keep her in your prayers.
Till the next adventure…
-A
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
You know april,.. i have been there,...wanting to get off this crazy ride of life but you know what I always end up deciding? to stay because there is no place that I would rather be than in my life. God put us in these situations for a reason. you are strong and have God on your side. He knows what you can handle. as for me not wanting to be the one there at that time in the salon,... like I said there is no place id rather be !! i LOVE YOU GIRL! Hang in there, He hears ya!!
I just want you to know that I love you and Andy and Im positive everything is going to work out!!!!!
Oi, achei teu blog pelo google tá bem interessante gostei desse post. Quando der dá uma passada pelo meu blog, é sobre camisetas personalizadas, mostra passo a passo como criar uma camiseta personalizada bem maneira. Até mais.
Post a Comment