Straining so hard to look up...

When you think you have had enough and can’t do it anymore, you get served some more. Isn’t that the way it works?

Today was just another day. Just some preface before I get to the “good” stuff (and yes that is sarcasm you are smelling). The last three years have been some of the most hellacious when it has come to jobs. I was in the mortgage business for almost 6 tumultuous years. I hated it. Cut throat, fraudulent places to be (the ones I was in). I just didn’t feel that is where I should be, and finally I got out. Purpose of that sharing is b/c jobs/income have been all over the map for my family in the last 3 years. It has been difficult on all of us. That is why we moved. The effects of those years caught up.

Anyway back to today. I have had a feeling for awhile things were taking a downward dip where I am at now, but held on to the hope that somehow it would come back together…wrongo. After I received a phone call already giving me some bad news on another thing, my boss comes in 15 min before I get off to tell me the doors maybe closing Friday. Poof, April no job again. I have to say at first I had major meltdown. Oh how I hate change. I hate instability, but I hate dishonesty more.

These things never come sparingly over time; no they come all at once. Tears, anger, all the emotions seared through me. I didn’t want to tell my children yet again I just don’t know. But once I picked Tre up and saw him smiling and running towards me…it changed.

It is going to be okay. It always is, but only if I keep my eyes on the Lord, and know He has always provided what we need. May not be all we want or think we need, but He always takes care of us. He is shifting my path…I don’t know why, but He is. There is a reason for everything, and to everything there is a season…I have to focus on all I still do have. Difficult yes, but I have to. To try and think to far ahead about this and this…oh I will be more insane than what I already am.

I didn’t realize that posting last night would ring so true in my ears today. Faith looks up…oh that is all I can do. Focus on getting through today, and let God take care of tomorrow.

I have finals tomorrow…not sure how I am going to concentrate, but hey I have been through worse right?!

Romans 5:2-5 Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. 3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.