Another week...

Ephesians 3:18-19 (New Living Translation)
18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Awesome verse!
Another week gone by…have you realized the older you get the quicker that time seems to go? It flys. You’re your in moments of stress and chaos it seems to drag interminably.

The baby started daycare today. We have all been excited to see this new venture for him. It is a great opportunity at a place that has so much structure, kids his age for social, and best of all the principles of Gods love taught to him. I believe you are never too young to begin that. We all have heard the faith of a child, and it is so real. It is our world and society that chase that faith away…

Anyhow this last week was hard. I found myself sinking into a depression. I share this b/c even though my faith is where it is, and my trust in God is where it is, does not mean that I am immune to this world and the trials that I (we) all face.

My week was a mess. My nephew could not start in his daycare until today, my kids started school (which meant no one to take care of them or him), and my car decided to check out on me on Thursday. Argh. It was too much. Once again as I reflect on why I fell apart I see that it was b/c I lost all control over what was happening. I was frustrated and overwhelmed b/c it was utter chaos, and I felt like I had no say in it at all.

On Saturday Andrew cleaned out our other attic. There in the mess of “stuff” I have had for years…HS memorabilia, kids baby clothes, and things from my parents. It was rough. I came across a tape that was given to me roughly 18-19years ago that was a tapped conversation of my father before everything happened that fateful day.

Why is it when we know it will bring up yuckey stuff we still grab it? As you can guess, yes I listened to it. As I sat there I had to listen to me at nine years old beg to just be heard. To be loved. The pain of hearing "ghosts" voices was torture, but it is all i have of them...may sound demented but I can't remember their voices anymore. They seem like something i read about long ago... It broke my heart, but made my resolve for what I have been doing with my extended family all that much stronger. I had no voice. God has given me one now, and now I have His guidance to help me through and be there for other children just like I was.

All that we go through in our lives can either be regretted or it can be a stepping stone into who we want to be and reminders of what can happen if we revert back to where we have been.
I know we all have said once in our lives God puts people in our lives for a reason. Do you ever dissect that, chew on it, and think about it fully?

I see all of it now. Not perfectly, not without questions, but like a puzzle..it fits. Not perfectly, not without curves and turns but it does.

We have to stay open to all God has for us…He is so big that I cannot even wrap my mind around it, but I know He is there. I explained to Chelsey tonight, we have to be careful about putting people in a box. Christians are not perfect, but it is not our job to judge them. Some will claim they are, are they? Not my job to point out if they are or not. Am I walking the walk so perfectly that I find it my job to point out their faults? I think not! We are to do our best to uplift everyone to the best of our ability.

I realized in many of the situations that I am in right now, I need to pray deeply, fully and completely. Am I looking for an answer or do I think I already have it? God is who He says He is…am I?

Galatians 6:2-3 (New Living Translation)
2 Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. 3 If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.

Thought provoking verse.