Reflection yet again...

Ephesians 4:1-2
Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. 2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.

I came across this verse last night as I was doing my nightly reading and it hit me as it usually does when I need to be reminded of things I continue to need to work on. Always be humble and gentle…geez am I? Be patient with each other, making allowances for each other’s faults because of your love…do I?

No, and no. Not always. I try, but fall short many times. This weekend I did a lot of reflecting again (I know, blah blah), but I did. I realized yet again how unbelievably blessed I am. I realize where my life has been, where it is now, and where it could be if I don’t keep my priorities straight, and my life accountable to my Father.

I realized I have been forgiven for my shortcomings more so than not. Not only by God, but by the people around me that I know that I have hurt. Why than am I so stingy on my forgiveness? Why am I not doing what God called me to do by loving my enemies and praying for them instead of cursing them?

Simple answer, I am human. As I was talking to Chelsey and Andy last night I realized that a lesson that needs to be taught now to my children is one of forgiveness when we have been wronged or when others fall short of their duties as a parent or the loved ones around us. I realized that resentments and unforgiveness that I held on to for year’s b/c I felt like I was punishing that person only did immense harm to ME. It led me on a path of self destruction, and hurt others that shouldn’t have been hurt by it, but were.

I also realized that I have put myself out there with this blog. I have exposed A LOT of who I am and what I struggle with, and that can be a good thing or a bad thing. I put a lot of thought into it, and I know that when I know someone else is going through or have gone through similar struggles I feel better knowing I am not alone in this. So even if no one or someone is lifted up or feels that they are not alone from my raw exposure than I am okay with that. This is who I am. I am okay with that now. I hid who I was for years, and I am done with that. What I am, and who I am now is God’s masterpiece (still struggling with that!! :) ) and that I am good with!

Ephesians 4:31-32
Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.