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I had one of those moments today that no parent wants. A phone call...

Some more info before i go further-My oldest daughter will be 14 years out of transplant this October. It has not been an easy road, but I thank God everyday that I have her in my life. For many of you who don't know she was born with Biliary Atresia. What that means in short version is: The cause of biliary atresia is unknown. Auto-immune mechanisms may be partly responsible for the progressive process that takes place. Although the cause is uncertain, it is known that biliary atresia affects only newborns; it is not hereditary; it is not contagious; and it is not preventable. Parents should be assured that biliary atresia is not caused by anything the mother did during pregnancy. (classkids.org)

It took me awhile to understand that it wasn't my fault that she had this. I was tormented before they reassured me over and over that it wasn't anything i did or didn't do. As a parent it is our job to protect our children. The pain that I had to watch my firstborn endure was almost too much all of the time. I would have done anything to have taken her place...It taught me much about life. I was so angry for a long time b/c I wanted to know why my daughter got this. It was 1 in 20,000 births! Why her? I had to let that go, and focus on doing whatever it took to keep her alive and healthy. There are days I know I drive her insane, and vice versa, but I love her and would die for her as I would all my children.

This is a story that could go on with many ups and downs, but that would be a book not a blog! Back to the phone call...i dread taking her for bloodwork every 3 months. Not only does it suck to see her poked, but the anticipation and dread that i endure waiting for that phone call to either tell me all is good, or all is not. Today the liver transplant coordinator called to tell me that her labs were elevated. My heart dropped. There has been so much that has gone on in the past year, and my first instinct was panic, and than I started losing it. I cannot express what it feels like to know that we will have to do this for the rest of her life, and even more so knowing she will have to deal with this for her life. I hate the thought of her ever moving out b/c than I cannot hover over her! I am sure she would say otherwise.

I know that I cannot try to take the control back from God b/c He is in control, and I know He loves her as much as I do. Does that eliminate my fear? No, but it helps me to get through this 24 hours.
In all of this what I am asking is please pray for her, and her labs to go back to normal. Please pray for me for strength, wisdom, and the sanity of my family that I don’t drive them all crazy with worry!

Also I cannot even wrap my mind around if we would have to go through the whole transplantation again, but i know in a drop second I would if it meant saving her again. Please share with your kids, co-workers, neighbors anyone that will listen the importance of education on being an organ donor. Without it I would not have my daughter, and kids die each day b/c of the lack of organs.

Below I have pulled statistics from the Donate Life America Website. This is real, and you never know when you may be on the other side of the decision.


-Almost 100,000 men, women and children currently need life-saving organ transplants.
-Every 12 minutes another name is added to the national organ transplant waiting list.
-An average of 18 people die each day from the lack of available organs for transplant.
-In 2005, there were 7,593 deceased organ donors and 6,895 living organ donors resulting in 28,108 organ transplants.
-In 2005, 44,000 grafts were made available for transplant by eye banks within the United States.
-Approximately 1,000,000 tissue transplants are performed annually.
-According to research, 98% of all adults have heard about organ donation and 86% have heard of tissue donation.
-90% of Americans say they support donation, but only 30% know the essential steps to take to be a donor.

Thanks for the prayers and thoughts-
A