Time heals all wounds...

A wound can be seen, felt, or sometimes both. Does time really eventually heal all our wounds?

This coming Monday is the anniversary of the day I had to say goodbye to my grandmother, who was monumental in who I have become after my own mother died. At the beginning of knowing she was going to leave this earth, I understood it was God's time...not my own. I spent those weeks asking for forgiveness, sharing the gospel with her, and mostly telling her I loved her. When she took her last breath...I felt the life being knocked out of me. I ran. Only one other time that I ran like that...24 years ago when my mom took her last breath. Have I healed completely? Yes and no. Will I someday? I think so...when I reach Heaven and I am reunited with them I think I will. Can I dwell on what is no longer? No. Can I rejoice, and focus on what they brought to my life? Yes, b/c I choose to.

This week has encompassed many emotions. I felt great all week, but I kept thinking I am not allowed to feel this good about life. I am comfortable waiting for the other "shoe" to drop. In someways situations arose that seeped in to that thinking. I am still dealing with (and will for awhile I am sure) life changing issues with extended family. I also found out that a young man that I cared deeply for, felt the despair that I understand more than I would like to, took his own life. Such a sad, heart wrenching waste of life. This will be the second son his mother has had to bury..those are deep wounds. And another issue that came tonight, a father who has been non-existant deciding to jump back in, and the tidal waves of his current are being felt...tears and emotions turned upside down yet again.

But in all this I praise God. I have to. I have too many blessings in my life to focus on the whys, the whens, and what about me?? As I held my young nephew tonight...he looked at me with the eyes of faith. He knows when he is here he will be loved, cared for, and safe. The emotion that I felt when he finally stood in front of me and began to take his first steps..I can't even express. That faith. That trust. Knowing I would catch him if he fell...a phrase that I always said to my grandma came to my mind...My cup runneth over. Life goes on...it always does even when we feel like we can't.

Time will heal if we allow it. Sometimes it just takes alot of it...He will catch me when I fall, when I doubt, and when I fail over and over.. Because that is who He is.

Mark 9:23-Anything is possible if a person believes.

*Please keep the Stegaman family in your prayers...The young mans name was Rodney.