Family? Huh?

Family? What makes a family a family? Blood? Born into? This has been something that I have been mulling over for about a week and a half. Obviously things have occurred to bring it to the forth front of my mind.

From my blogs and if you know me I know that most of you know how very dysfunctional my childhood was, and I grew up with my maternal grandparents, and aunts and uncles that were more like siblings b/c of our ages.

But now 2o some odd years later, both my grandma and grandpa are gone (the ones that raised me), one sister is in Nevada, one is in Decatur, and the brother is incarcerated. Aunts, Uncles, and cousins (maternal) cease to exist. They are really still living, but not involved in mine or my children’s lives. None of them. My father’s family wrote us off when my parents died. My only living grandparent is my father’s mom, and I do not know her. She has never seen my children...ever.

With all that it just makes a person sad to know that life is so short, and in my eyes we were created to be there for each other. Catch each other when we fall…Growing up with in my grandparent’s home we had people around all the time. Of course you had you constant blow-ups and storm outs, but hey whose family doesn’t?! We were always getting together for something, and nowadays…well either a birth or a death and you may get a card or a visit…. Are we really that consumed with our lives or that busy?

I keep thinking it is my job to reach out and say enough already, and if they reject me again than you know what I tried. But…pride is a killer. It sucks to have to always be the one to reach out, but if I don’t who will?

I realize now that I have created my own family with my husband and my kids…and oh yes my animals! I think God knew that my compassion for others b/c of the loneliness I sometimes feel puts me in a position to reach out to others, and be their family. Some of the people that love me the most are not blood related. Much of this is babbling b/c I am still in the great debate with myself over how to approach this next hurdle in my life. I also know you can have tons of family, and still be one of the loneliest people b/c of how “busy” everyone is now.

My best friends growing up were my cousins…I loved hanging out with my aunts and uncles…my kids again see theirs on holidays, birthdays, and deaths…Why is this??!! Do I need to do more?

Any thoughts???

-A